WILMINGTON – With a row of school lockers projected on the large screen behind him, Michael Morrow asked his audience to raise a hand if they could remember being bullied in school. Then he raised his own.
The room became quiet, and slowly the hands started rising. Nearly half the audience of about 50 adults responded yes. Dr. Morrow asked them why they could remember something that had happened years, even decades, before. Finally, a woman answered loudly enough that everyone could hear.
“It was traumatic.”
Clearly the audience—parents and professionals who worked with children in schools or other settings—understood that bullying is a serious and widespread problem. What brought them to Wednesday’s seminar on bullying, held at Nemours/Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children in Wilmington, was a desire to spare today’s children that same trauma.
Morrow, a pediatric psychology fellow at the hospital, presented research findings on the subject, and Kittie Rehrig, director of student services at the Appoquinimink School District, discussed what educators were doing to counter the problem.
Bullying is intentionally aggressive behavior, repeated over time and characterized by a power imbalance, Morrow explained. Professionals traditionally recognized four main types of bullying: physical, verbal, social, and property. But the rise of social media has created a fifth category, cyber bullying.
Nearly 30 percent of young people are involved directly as bullies or victims, but in some way bullying involves nearly all children—whether as friends, bystanders, or defenders, Morrow said. Even witnessing bullying can be damaging to children, he noted.
There is no quick fix to the problem, but Delaware schools are tackling it. Rehrig said that since 2008, the state has required schools to put in place a variety of anti-bullying measures, including staff training; an explicit ban on bullying and on retaliation for reporting it; school committees to address the problem; and supervision of every area in the school.
Appoquinimink School District Supervisor of Student Services Kittie Rehrig and Nemours Pediatric Psychology Fellow Dr. Michael Morrow address bullying issues at a seminar for parents at A.I. duPont Hospital for Children:
- Kittie Rehrig and Dr. Michael Morrow
Rehrig and Morrow discuss at what age bullying can start and when it is prevalent.
Morrow outlines best ways to discuss bullying and how to cope with it with your children.
Rehrig and Morrow discuss how to to get bullying bystanders to help those being bullied.
Rehrig discusses school strategies to combat bullying
In Appoquinimink, children learn about bullying and harassment, take a pledge not to engage in it, and have presentations on the subject throughout the year. Children take a survey on bullying and are told how to report it.
Rehrig stressed the need to foster an anti-bullying culture among the students. In Appoquinimink’s Redding Middle School, a student committee has an ongoing effort to fight the problem, in part by creating bullying awareness videos that run throughout the year.
“It’s a really great thing to get students involved with it, and it seems so much more meaningful to the rest of the student body,” Rehrig said. “I think engaging and mobilizing the students is the greatest way to really address bullying prevention and get your kids to help you with it. I think that makes a really big difference.”
Preventing bullying should be a whole-school, year-round process, Rehrig said, involving character education, supervision, and the ability to anonymously report a problem.
Rehrig said parents who find out their child is being bullied should arrange to meet with school personnel, report the facts and the effect on the child, and work with the school staff to make a plan that will help the child feel safe and know he or she can go somewhere for help.
Children often fear retaliation when their parents take the problem to the school, Rehrig, said, but “research has shown that most students report that things improved after they went to someone and reported that it was happening,” she said.
Rehrig acknowledged that bringing bullies and their families into the resolution process can be a challenge. Her district has social workers who “go out and try to bridge that gap.”
How can a child who is being bullied be taught to resist?
“This is the most challenging question I get from parents,” Morrow said. Solutions vary according to the personality of the child, he explained. His support groups for victims role play and practice different strategies. Tip sheets the hospital offers include such strategies as simply avoiding the bully if possible, staying calm, standing tall and making eye contact, and walking away while ignoring the bullying.
Paul McGhee of Wilmington expressed concern that his own 11-year-old son could become a victim. He came to learn more about the subject and to find out whether his years of academic research into humor could be put to use in fighting bullying.
Morrow did not know of any programs to help kids use humor to protect themselves, but he said that some young people are naturally adept at putting bullies off balance with a humorous remark. He cautioned that if the joking fails, children could set themselves up for more mockery.
What should children do when they witness bullying? Again, the answer depends on the child.
“If they have the confidence or the strength, then they need to be the person who says ‘Stop that,’ ” said Rehrig. Children who feel they cannot handle the situation themselves “need to not stand there and be a part of it and join in, and they need to go tell an adult.”
“Most kids don’t really enjoy watching bullying,” Morrow said. “They want to step in and do something, but only about half of the time, they actually do.”
